Halloween 2010

My mom and I took Morgan and my brother Jonathon to Boo on Main in Westminster tonight. Morgan was so stinking cute. She went as Minnie Mouse this year. I had decided last year that was what she was going to be. Meanwhile she was completely against her ears. She boycotted them all night. She was not really into it until the first piece of candy dropped into her pink pumpkin, then she was all for trick or treating. There were moments in which she would simply park herself in the middle of the sidewalk or street(which was closed to cars) and check out her candy or just take a break. I think we may go to a Fall Festival tomorrow. This whole two days of Halloween is pretty awesome.

Boredom Kills

Its Sunday night and there is NOTHING on TV and NOTHING to do. I was going to try killing myself with the remote but found that to be too tedious. I have my car back for those who were wondering. I love it and I missed it. I do not love my car payment. My job is going okay. I really don't have nothing to say. Just bored.

New Car And Whatever Else I Decide To Ramble On About: I HAVE THE MICROPHONE AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!!!!

Okay so those of you that have spoken to me in the last 2 months know I am still living in Clemson and still have not found a house that I am willing to buy. So my new plan was to let my dad take over payments on my Mitsubishi Eclipse and I would buy his '89 Bronco to save my money. So with that done I have been able to build some saving back up already even though I have had the Bronco for less than a month. However I miss my car so bad I could cry sometimes! I know that sounds gay and lame, but seriously I loved the way that car made me feel. It was beautiful. But okay being an adult about it, it was a good decision. Let's see what else...new movies I have seen and hated...Closer: other than seeing Natalie Portman scantily clad this movie sucked, the cheating, the deceiving, it left me with such a sour taste in my mouth...Vanity Fair: Reese Witherspoon couldn't act her way out of a nut sack and frankly the story was too depressing for words...I Heart Huckabees: still no clue what that one was even about...Movies that did not suck that I have seen lately...White Noise: Where the hell has Michael Keaton been for the last ten years??? scary, touching, confusing, suspenseful, and did I say scary??? Due to me seeing Poltergeist way too many times the static on the tv is indeed scary and the blue screen is a great invention...Okay not a movie but Wild Boyz Season 2: I can't help it, its informative and funny and I love learning about animals from two grown men in loin cloths...Okay I got no more movies...I do want to see Boogeyman, Star Wars 2, The Ring 2, and Batman Begins. I am a sucker for the Batman movies even though I didn't see the last one. I have the trading cards from the original I am cool dammit. Okay work...it still sucks. I still want to go to grad school, but am so random in what I want to be when I grow up (24 is not grown up). I mean one day I want to be a Psychologist then next I want to be a Marine Biologist. Ironically these are exactly the two things I wanted to be in the fifth grade. Weird. Lately been thinking about all the things I miss about college...American Eagle...you know I won't even go in there anymore? Its just not the same. It took me years to quit saying things like "we" carry those shoes or pants or whatever. I can still look at someone and tell them what size they would wear in American Eagle jeans. I still cringe when I walk by a stack of unfolded shirts in a store or see tags ripped off in a dressing room. I miss having a group of people who I had a common bond with: the hatred, I mean love of the customer. I miss not really having to work every day. I even miss floor sets. Good times. Another thing I miss about college is naps. In my current living situation my neighbors are avid drum players, only they suck. Okay that's not fair. 100% of the time they do not suck...but 99.9% of the time they do suck. Just now the neighbor came to ask me when I would be sleeping. I am not in any hurry to sleep so not a big deal. I do get off earlier now for the summer though and would love to nap, but that is never possible! At like 3:30 they decide okay let me play some jamming beats...I cannot entirely complain though because they have truly improved. They ask now if they are going to be loud and they don't really play at night on week nights anymore. Its good. But naps used to be so great. I loved it. I miss also my Sophomore year...good times. I miss living with Jennifer and having a friend I loved and trusted around 24/7. I am lucky to see her once a month now. Although I do get to be a bridesmaid for the first time ever, thanks Jenn! I miss being drug to Greenwood because I had a car and she didn't so she could see Richard. I miss having no responsibilities. I have too many now it feels like...but hey I guess that is part of getting older of course. Okay so really this has been a complete and utter rambling. And in the missing don't get me wrong... I am really happy where I am right now too. Seth has really become my best friend. He puts up with me being a big dork and super crazy. If any of you reading this really really know me, you have seen me act so stupid its not even funny...of course probably everyone of you in different ways. I love being able to dance around the house and act like a complete fool and he not judge me. Its cool really. Life is so cool how things can change so drastically and yet be just as great. Okay so I am done with rambling and maybe you feel caught up or maybe you feel lost on where I was going with this...hopefully more to come:-D

The House Hunt/Motivation

I never thought that finding a house that I liked and could afford would be so hard. Every single time I find something that suits me, it gets gone before I even have a chance to breathe. My last house that I put in an offer on was bought right out from in under me. It seems like no matter how many offers I put in, it just gets gone before I can get an answer. Crazy! Next topic, I have realized how unmotivated I am to do anything, ie clean, exercise, read, write, etc...And this is driving me crazy. I know that if I would just start then I would become more motivated just by getting my feet wet. Alas, I have not done so. I was thinking of joining a gym, but there is always the lingering question of if I will actually go there. I like the thought of there being equipment and guidance in a work out rather than me just walking the parking lot of Cedarwood, which I don't' even do. But I don't want to just waste my money. I am not the most outgoing of people nor am I the one with the most self-esteem, so going to a gym with skinny little bubbly people who might seem to think I don't belong there might cause me to have an attack. Not to mention that I think quite a few people I choose not to ever see might also be members of said gym, ie my old highschool flame (who is actually Satan in disguise). But I do not want to be flabby and shabby anymore I want to be buff and stuff, but then again I have said this many many times in the past and as yet not been motivated. It all boils down to MOTIVATION. I need to find me some of that and maybe then it will all click into place...okay going to go clean and see if I can get the train out of the station...

True Friends

I think everybody has some idealistic view on what the perfect friend would be like. But of course in reality people can never meet all of your expectations. I have personally had a lot of friends to come and go in my life. Mostly due to changes in location. Others I have lost along the way primarily because they didn't meet my expectations. For me a true friend is a person who is more than willing to share every single detail of their day or life and respectably listen when you are doing the same. A true friend shares their feelings regardless of whether or not they think it might hurt your feelings because the truth is more important. A friendship based on lies is worst than any enemy you could ever have. That kind of deceit is deep and corrosive. I think we can all relate to a frienship gone bad. What it all boils down to in my opinion is communication. Something said is generally better than something left unsaid. A true friend is also someone who can see past all your bullshit and call you on it. They also know the most intimate details and shadiest secrets you have and they still love you. One of my best friends can say the most blunt thing possible and it not be deemed as degrading or manipulative. She doesn't have a hidden agenda behind everything she tells me. Its based on her caring about me and what is best for me. I love her for being someone who doesn't lie to me. That is a true friend. Really I am not sure where this is going, but just something I wanted to throw out there. I think a lot of people today don't really know how to be a true friend and when things go wrong they blame them on everyone else or fate or some bullshit like that. Accepting responsibility can begin a healing process so maybe next time you won't be the one to fuck up. "Friend" or not, I think its important to not let someone make you feel like you are less of a person than them. Obviously if they are doing that, then they don't really care about you at all. You are only there to feed their ego. As it was once said in a movie I particulary like "I love that word 'relationship.' Covers all manner of sins, doesn't it?" Sometimes its just time to let go. Some people are more like a disease or a parasite than a friend. Okay enough.

Long Awaited Blog

Honestly I have had the best intentions to write a new post on here way before now. It was not until today that I noticed Walter's comments for me to write another one. I check his blog often, as does Seth, and its always engaging. He has the most descriptive and odd things happen to him. Where as I watch other people's kids all day, come home to watch Jeopardy and fall asleep to Aqua Teen Hunger Force by 9:00 PM. I find it harder and harder to stay up late the older I get. Last night the neighbor's had a party and I felt strange thinking "Its okay they have been quiet for a long time. They need a night of fun." I felt like their mom delegating when they could have fun with their friends. I remember staying up to all hours of the night in college. I was the nightlife. I loved to be awake at night. I would rush to class in whatever I threw on ten minutes before and rush back in between to take 10 or 20 minute naps. I was the Queen of Naps. I haven't had an actually real nap in nearly a year. I wake up too late to take them now. And the sad thing is I wasn't up late...I was asleep last night by 11. That is with the party still raging on. We gave them a time limit of 1:00 AM and they seemed quite excited about it. Like their parents had let them stay up an extra hour or something. I woke up around 1:38 AM for no apparent reason and they were silent as lambs asleep in their beds or moved on to someone else's apartment to torment their neighbors. Still no word on my buying a house. I have an offer in on a different one that I like better. Its actually a trailer which is something I said I would never live in, but its actually really nice. And its a starter home anyway. Its not like I am committed to living there forever and ever amen. Not to mention it is on nearly 5 acres and on a quiet street. I hope to hear something soon. But I always do. Buying a house is like the hardest thing ever. I thought it was much easier than this. Who knew? Anyway, I gotta go get a shower and get ready to go to my sister's basketball games. Oh the excitement of watching three year olds run up and down the court...meanwhile Audrey is running circles around her coach and climbing on the goal and waving at us the whole time. Sarah's game is actually the interesting one. She does a great job. This is their last game of the season however so their energies can again be used for evil instead of good.

Unfaithful Blogger

I am not totally commited to writing a blog everyday. I just can't seem to find the time to do that. Not to mention I am a typical girl and actually have a journal that I write with pen and paper. Maybe that isn't typical its just old-fashioned. Whatever, so I am writing here on Super Bowl Sunday. Not too excited about the game. I don't really care who wins at all. My two teams are out of it so who cares? I wouldn't mind the overly arogant Patriots to lose. Because they are assholes, but anyway. So I still do not know if my offer on the house I put a bid on has been accepted. I should know tomorrow. I really really really want this house, but at a good price. The whole concept of buying a house is scary. I mean it means I am indeed growing up and taking charge of my life. I am wasting good money renting. A home is an investment. I am looking at my future here. I want to be happy and comfortable. The most important thing is for me to feel at home somewhere. I don't feel at home here. I want to make all the noise I want and not worry that the neighbors are going to get pissed and play the drums at ungodly times of the morning. I just want to be happy. So hopefully I get it...okay no more now.